Skip to content

Shop for greeting cards to enjoy with Dasha or Stanley.

Nancy has bottomless nachos before bed.

Buy thousands of these cards and I'll be able to afford a fleet of jet skis.

My beloved orthodontist is in trouble for racketeering.

Tom was buried next to an old gopher village and now Tom's body was a popular hangout for gophers called Tom's.

Eagles are rarely firing on all cylinders and guess what...they are still more impressive than maybe any other bird!

Your Uncle Jim is going to love these.

I love digging into a good cheesecake on the Back 9.

Earth has a gummy core.

Amanda lived in a small town with a real shortage of restaurants serving buffalo chicken.

These cards make for absolutely great kindling if you're in a pinch.

Dolphins love eating a good licorice rope!

Mountain vs Plains

Account

Other sign in options Sign in

Orders
Profile

Account

Other sign in options Sign in

Orders
Profile

Your cart is empty

Have an account? Log in to check out faster.

Continue shopping

Click to Shop All Greeting Cards!!!

Valentine's Day!!!

View all

Disgusting Flowers

c052e9d3-9f82-481a-b2b8-e8f687626998

393f02bb-2992-4aa5-88e4-a0368d9aac5e

Disgusting Flowers

Disgusting Flowers

$5.00

Asshole Smiling

b905d74f-d608-4086-b0b7-f63e210b4404

e4f21d53-d827-435a-805c-3c482b6d371f

936c78ea-a80a-4be2-bc49-2319c6480482

12d6b42f-36b2-4ad4-82d3-b833f15b30a1

Asshole Smiling

Asshole Smiling

$5.00

All Those Bitches

e28a4054-ea94-4dd0-9b0e-2e0515c079ea

3d113b45-83d3-468e-ad6a-c29a6c1ff478

42d02584-6ede-470f-aae4-fbecacf5e8cc

d646ce35-dafb-4643-af18-c793f4f5886c

All Those Bitches

All Those Bitches

$5.00

5138f21a-9d53-4832-b978-ab6e88e74035

2cf15c75-9850-4c9d-b950-b2ecaa5d0eea

c461f7ed-d12d-4b65-8879-70f1045da041

c0cedaa5-52a9-4571-a2d3-84ddd00ff3e1

Lame

Lame

$5.00

Greeting Cards For You and Your Friends

View all

09c056a5-2191-4331-bda1-34be52a0a197

c9755309-432c-4d38-a2c1-6df753227e67

6854617c-a108-4c8a-93b3-4b4a63d377c2

79d64d5f-b042-4300-9a13-9c698330017c

001 Percent

001 Percent

$5.00

36 Year Old Santa

36 Year Old Santa

36 Year Old Santa

36 Year Old Santa

$5.00

ae8a210a-bcd2-46a9-9fdf-4808e6deaa91

18bd2844-10c2-4b4d-a555-8035cb1187f7

b8656aea-bb0d-481a-b086-8ebcc1f65919

bacc7259-01d7-4b95-9ef1-c5f605b18fbb

50/50

50/50

$5.00

606082a5-2f3d-4e59-b7fa-ccf88e3ba886

d6470f7e-b9ae-4165-a58a-7fee6b198009

a401ddbd-63c3-49b4-9c95-bf6b20d18a39

af1c29af-8aac-4af2-9d52-1b91e1836e0a

Abyss

Abyss

$5.00

All Those Bitches

e28a4054-ea94-4dd0-9b0e-2e0515c079ea

3d113b45-83d3-468e-ad6a-c29a6c1ff478

42d02584-6ede-470f-aae4-fbecacf5e8cc

d646ce35-dafb-4643-af18-c793f4f5886c

All Those Bitches

All Those Bitches

$5.00

9f8eb8df-22f4-46c5-887b-f3be8f3ea484

233acee1-4065-433a-8988-f220dbc358a3

efff35bf-1066-44ed-8b8d-8a8eb74c1376

971ffddb-fccc-41c2-a9bb-dd5f4ec33d16

Aquarium

Aquarium

$5.00

Asshole Smiling

b905d74f-d608-4086-b0b7-f63e210b4404

e4f21d53-d827-435a-805c-3c482b6d371f

936c78ea-a80a-4be2-bc49-2319c6480482

12d6b42f-36b2-4ad4-82d3-b833f15b30a1

Asshole Smiling

Asshole Smiling

$5.00

cb868427-b7d9-437e-888f-ba2be276ac19

5c152887-a606-4a0a-86a4-ed4c6222386f

53663f8c-33d4-4624-afef-6a02aaca2e75

a08f1971-4787-4dbf-b3a0-e2dad6748870

Banana Muffin

Banana Muffin

$5.00

Join our email list

Get exclusive deals and early access to new products.

Email

© 2026 Mountain vs Plains, Powered by Shopify

Privacy policy

Search

Search

Products

001 Percent

001 Percent

$5.00
36 Year Old Santa

36 Year Old Santa

$5.00
50/50

50/50

$5.00
Abyss

Abyss

$5.00